Unveiling My Journey
Dear Future Wife is a series of letters where I take this beautiful journey to discover the evolution of myself, Anne. These letters will share my radical and honest emotions, thoughts, feelings, and perhaps, my dreams and aspirations too.
I humbly hope you enjoy the journey with me.
About Me.
My name is Anne. One would say that I've lived a charmed life. I have achieved many successes, and I treat the people around me with respect and kindness. 2024 is my year of healing, and I will use this series of letters to help me unpack my trauma, and accelerate my healing and growth. Much of this website will explore some of my stories and timelines, and perhaps, the philosophies that I hold. Over time, this website will grow to include pages that might help explain the different aspects of me that make me who I am.
Timelines
Childhood
My mother worked for a family business, starting as a trusted secretary, and eventually becoming the most trusted person in the organization, transferring wealth from one generation to the next. Her work encompassed corporate finance to compliance to consulting.
The company she works for is a very large group of companies, with four subsidiaries being publicly listed, and a multitude of companies being companies that seem to be used for generating wealth through "doing as little work as possible".
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My mother travelled all the time when I was a child, and frequently left me and my brother in the care of employees, helpers, or each other. My mother despised my father, and my father grew to speak few words. My mother separated my father from my brother and myself, and later separated my brother from me, isolating each of us, creating distance between my known relationships.
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Dinnertime conversations typically revolved around subjects that included corporate finance, deal making, and economic development. My afternoons were spent playing with fire - I would purchase bottles of paint thinner, and light up granite and marble structures in the neighborhoods, building pyres with plastic lighters, matches, cardboard, and peripheral items I could get my hands on.
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My brother was disciplined and stayed out of trouble. His way of showing unhappiness is to withdraw and not communicate, sometimes as long as over a year, which is alarming, coming from a child of less than twelve years.
Early adolescence
My father left the home some time in my first year of high school. Someone at the school asked if I was ok. I remember defiantly saying that I was perfectly fine. But that was the year when I tried to take my life for the first time. It was some time in early May, the day before my first mid-term examinations, before the Literature paper.
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I was not given a free pass when I woke up the day after ingesting 40 painkillers and 40 sleeping pills. I had meant to take 80 painkillers but threw up. I went to school, flunked the paper, and had to retake the paper as an attempt to make up for it.
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A part of me regretted taking the pills. I should've jumped out the window. A year later, I tried jumping off the building - twice. As soon as my mother could, she moved to the third floor of a building to prevent me from dying. The year we moved, someone did jump off the building anyway, and that neighbor moved plants around so that no one could access the ledge.
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The year after my first suicide attempt, I started running with street gangs, shoplifting, and committing petty crime. It ended abruptly, since I didn't speak the language they spoke.
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In time, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Suicidal Ideation. After multiple periods of being institutionalized, I learned to pretend to be fine in order to get out of hospital stays, where my rights were taken away from me.
Adulthood
In my early adulthood, I learned that I suffered from high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome. I also realized that I was lesbian, knowing that I could never feel for a man the way I felt for a woman, both sexually, emotionally, and mentally.
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I had long-term relationships with three women, each relationship ranging from five to seven years, and each one more toxic than the last.
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My career as a banker was spectacular, culminating with me joining the C-suite of the second largest securities firm in China, and being the third employee of its regional HQ in Southeast Asia, despite barely speaking a word of Mandarin Chinese.
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I started investing in startups from the time I first started working. In my entrepreneurial pursuits, I have built companies worth multiples of millions and scaled businesses through investing, partnering, and building repeatable and scalable revenue models.
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I also pursued advanced education while balancing a number of creative side hustles that I enjoy.
